Kokkinakis reveals his mental torture

Thanasi Kokkinakis admits he’s fighting mental demons as he battles back from 18 months in the tennis wilderness.

Having plummeted outside the world’s top 1000, Kokkinakis has used a protected ranking of No.81 to play the French Open, starting on Sunday, after a spate of injuries sent the 21-year-old to tennis hell and back.

Just as Kokkinakis isn’t looking beyond his tough first-round clash with eighth seed Kei Nishikori, he has no desire to look back.

“It’s been sh**house,” Kokkinakis told AAP of his despairing struggles with shoulder, pec, elbow and groin problems since undergoing shoulder surgery to his serving arm at Christmas of 2015.

A junior prodigy and one-time Australian Davis Cup hero who climbed to 69th in the world after his run to the last 32 at Roland Garros two years ago, Kokkinakis confesses to modest expectations ahead of his first grand slam appearance since the 2015 US Open.

“It’s been a while. Obviously had a good result a couple of years ago, my best year,” he said.

“So I’m just trying to get back to that form, get back to that intensity and get used to hitting with guys and playing intense points each day.”

Physically, Kokkinakis is “not great” and quietly dreading the prospect of going best of five sets on the Paris clay.

“Yeah, I don’t like it. I’m not looking forward to it. We’ll see what happens,” he said.

But it’s the mental side of the game he’s grappling with most, Kokkinakis admitting at times he felt foreign on court after playing just one top-level singles match in 20 months.

“I’m not where I want to be at the moment but I’m trying to get back to a decent level again,” he said.

“There’s been a lot of false starts. I was trying to stay patient. That’s what was making it frustrating.

“Now back on court, I’m struggling to feel as stoked to play as I was, so I’ve just got to find that again, find that motivation.

“That was my biggest strength. I wasn’t really letting guys get the better of me. Even if they were playing better than me, I was always still competing the whole time. So that’s what I’ve got to get back.

“It’s a mindset thing because I don’t have full confidence in my body yet, so that takes away from my game a little bit and then the whole thing just deteriorates a little bit.

“But I think the more I play and the more I’m on tour again, I’ll find that rhythm again and that will to win.”

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