David Warner struggled to compose himself on Tuesday.
Warner struggled when the national anthem played at Adelaide Oval and the crowd of 25,619 stood for 63 seconds of applause in memory of Phillip Hughes.
Warner struggled when he reached 63, the score Hughes was on when struck and fatally injured by a bouncer on November 28 at the SCG.
Warner struggled when he was out for 145, an impressive knock that powered Australia to a score of 6-354 at stumps on day one of the first Test against India.
And Warner knows he will struggle many times more this summer, as the 28-year-old comes to grips with the shock death of a close friend.
“The hardest thing is going to be the New Year’s Test. Walking out on to the SCG, where it all unfolded,” Warner said.
“It’s one of those things where you have to keep soldiering on and do your best, we know he’s always going to be with us.
“I am proud of the guys just to walk out there.”
Warner and Michael Clarke shared an emotional 118-run stand before the captain retired hurt in the 44th over, when he was sent for scans.
Clarke received injections in his lower back, with the side’s medical staff to assess how he pulls up on Wednesday morning.
Warner’s ton of class, Clarke’s 60 and Steve Smith’s unbeaten 72 gave the hosts the early advantage on the opening day of the four-Test series.
However, India made good use of the second new ball to remove Mitch Marsh, nightwatchman Nathan Lyon and Brad Haddin in the final five overs of the day.
“If I was out there still, we’d be in a great position,” Warner lamented.
“I felt I should have went on. How can I say it, the demons inside me got me out.
“I think I tried to take him (legspinner Karn Sharma) over the top and I hadn’t done so all day.
“Maybe the heat might have got to me, or mentally I was fatigued a little bit.”
Warner closed his eyes and looked to the sky when he passed 50, 63 and 100 – moments of remembrance wedged between the bouncers and boundaries.
The left-hander had a “bit of a tear” in his eye and hugged Clarke when he celebrated his fifth Test century of the year and 10th overall.
“The hardest point for me was when I was on 63, it was such a horrific incident,” Warner said.
“Being on that number wasn’t right, I just wanted to get past that and move on.
“It is going to be with us the rest of our lives … a lot of people will raise their bats at 63.”
Mohammed Shami and Varun Aaron struggled after Clarke won the toss, with Warner attacking the new ball with vigour to reach 32 after 15 balls.
The dismissals of Chris Rogers and Shane Watson, both out edging when slipper Shikhar Dhawan snaffled catches in the first session, momentarily tempered Australia’s momentum.
