NSW forward Trent Merrin has sat back and reflected on his State of Origin experiences so far, and understandably he has a few regrets.
He’s not alone as a Blues player on that count.
But those thoughts of shoulda, coulda, woulda are hard to shake.
From his two series so far, Merrin is yet to actually finish a campaign, dropped for the deciding games in 2011 and 2012.
On both occasions, Merrin was punted after a Blues win, making the disappointment even harder to take.
The 23-year-old certainly doesn’t have an Origin clanger to his name after four games.
But it’s fair to say the skillful St George Illawarra lock has struggled to make an impact on the game’s biggest stage.
Many Origin rookies speak about how fast the experience can pass you by if you’re not able to get yourself into the game.
That’s even harder when, like Merrin, you’re given limited minutes off the bench to make something happen.
But after some career-best performances at the Dragons to start 2013, Merrin has been given another chance by new coach Laurie Daley to turn an Origin contest and keep his Blues jersey for good.
“I’ve looked back on them and there’s a lot I could have worked on and could have done,” Merrin told AAP on Wednesday.
“But in saying that it helps you out to be in the position I’m in now.
“To get picked again. Those losses make you a better person and make you prepare better and be more professional about it. So that’s something I’ve taken out of the last two years.
“You’ve got to know what you’re there to do.
“When you get out on the field you’ve got to put it together.
“It just goes so quick in an Origin game. You’ve got to mentally prepare yourself and know what you’re out there against.”
At club level, Merrin is an 80-minute performer with one of the best workrates in the competition.
But for NSW, the 23-year-old needs to condense those efforts into one or two short bursts as an interchange weapon.
Merrin is blessed with one of the most dangerous offloads in the game, but after a couple of stray passes for Country Origin this year, he’s learnt not to premeditate.
“Once you start thinking about it that’s when you start making errors,” Merrin said.
“It just comes natural. If it’s on it’s on. You can’t go into a tackle knowing you’re going to offload the ball.
“It doesn’t really bother me if I play big minutes or little minutes. I know I’m here to do a job.”