Desperate to dispel rumours of dressing room disquiet, India captain MS Dhoni opted for dry wit instead of unbridled rage.

Dhoni last week admitted there was “unrest” among the team after a dramatic day four of the second Test.

But on Thursday he launched a stinging sardonic attack on reports Virat Kohli and Shikar Dhawan had to be separated by team director Ravi Shastri during the Gabba Test.

Dhawan retired hurt after being struck on the arm while batting in the nets prior to day four in Brisbane.

Kohli was also struck by a short ball, but batted in place of Dhawan.

Kohli lasted 11 balls, with the Hindustan Times reporting he blamed Dhawan for the dismissal and accused his teammate of feigning injury in a heated confrontation.

“Actually that was the case,” Dhoni said, raising eyebrows at the MCG on Christmas Day.

“Virat used a knife. He stabbed Shikhar, who just recovered out of that then we pushed him to bat.

“These are all stories. Marvel, maybe Warner Bros or somebody should pick up this and make a nice a movie out of it.”

Dhoni took a slightly more serious tone while asking for a source to be put forward, regretting that “journalists start making their own stories” during Indian tours.

“If somebody from the team has actually told you this, it’d be interesting if you could give us the name,” Dhoni said.

“Because his imagination is really brilliant and he should be working for one of the movie companies.

“He doesn’t deserve to be in our dressing room, because he has entirely created something that has not been there at all.”

Dhoni added the team was “quite used to” such stories.

“Stuff like that makes good stories for the tabloid and maybe it helps them sell it,” he said.

“As far as the reality is concerned, there’s been nothing like that.”

Dhoni was tightlipped on any changes to the XI that lost in Brisbane, but suggested swing specialist Bhuvneshwar Kumar would not be match fit for Boxing Day.

“We want to load him up a bit more with the bowling,” he said.

Suresh Raina could potentially return to the side at the expense of Rohit Sharma.